kindergarten?

As time has went by for some reason I never thought nor prepared myself for the year Madison would start kindergarten. In my little mind of fairy tails it never dawned on me that she would grow up. I mean sure she has grew and shes a "big" girl, but kindergarten has really threw me off. It has caught me off guard. I just had it in my head that Maddy would stay home with me and this would be our life, she would be little, and always be my little girl who stayed 4 forever. Then reality hit with this bomb called kindergarten! And let me just say I have been having a really hard time digesting it. See my fear is that as soon as kindergarten starts time will go by faster, faster than it already does. I am not ready for this to begin, cant I just have more time with her home. 4 years has gone by so fast! I have held off on writing about this because I didn't want to cry, but here I am cant sleep, up way to early and crying over kindergarten! Now I know why I haven't been so adamant about Jacob potty training, in my mind if he is not potty trained he wont grow. Ya right! (And just for the record, I really am trying to potty train him.)

Back to kindergarten, Madison and I were talking the other night about how she is starting kindergarten this year and we both start crying. Between her sobs she tells me she doesn't want to grow up and that I should stop feeding her so she will stop growing. Then there I am the big brave mom who should reassure her that its going to be ok and tell her how she is going to love kindergarten but no, I'm right there with her crying like a baby!

Oh kindergarten! So here's to a new chapter in parent hood that I'm sure will be filled with more joy and amazing moments!   

New to the blog world!

I have been debating for sometime now on whether or not I should join the blogging world. I have many reasons in my bag of excuses why I should not and could not. In the end of my debating and trying to talk myself out of it I realized that since im trying so hard not to do it, its obvious I should. So here I am. I have come to the conclusion that I am at a place in my life where I need a space to unload, unpack, and clear my mind. The public journal of my  life and mind, which let me just warn you can be crazy, dark, joyful, hilarious, and everything else….    I have realized I have so much that goes through my head that I need to sort it out, write it out,  get it out, and in some cases…. Ok most cases figure out what im doing, put closure, and move on so I can grow, heal, and live.  My blog space is  to be a place where I can confess my struggles, and get real with everything: My walk with the Lord, myself as a person, who I am as a person,  me as a wife, me as a mother, and whatever else might come up.  So heres to bolgging! Cheers!